Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
