we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
