Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
