bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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