We won't sleep together?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
