Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
