Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
