Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
