your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
from now on my penis is your penis
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
