It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
