i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
