It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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