just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
40s are totally the cure
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Randomize
