i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize