the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
