Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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