I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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