Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
