Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just had sex on a roof
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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