Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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