I hate your face
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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