it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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