Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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