i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
