I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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