How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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