..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
