Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
