either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
