I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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