just come out here and I will go home with you...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
