i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize