regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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