If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Randomize
