i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize