Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
