thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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