I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think my mom watched the whole time
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
