he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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