People with herpes should wear stickers.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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