i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's shark week go big or go home
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
