So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
