Don't you send me to vm
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
