So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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