Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
