I feel great
I just peed on a car
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize