Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
