My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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