Already got asked if we're dating
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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