in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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