I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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