he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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