i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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