dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
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It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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