What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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