i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize