You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
and she was petting her beer can
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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