You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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