is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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