just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize