so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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