if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
