you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
