what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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