After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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