Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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